Soldiers can get coffee, counsel at God’s Grounds
By J.p. Lawrence
COB ADDER, Iraq – You can find tucked away in a quiet corner of Contingency Operating Base Adder, next to the chapel, and near the cafeteria, an area of repose and comfort, an oasis called God’s Grounds.
There, you’ll find Sgt. Maj. Virginia Stickler, a Half Moon, Calif., native and a member of the 287th Sustainment Brigade.
She’s in charge of the place, and if you ask, she will be more than happy to give you an espresso or a slurpee or a honey bun or a muffin. There is a freezer full of drinks and shelves of snacks, courtesy of the chaplains, people back home and Army supply. And if you so desire, you can kick back on the couch while you munch your muffin and watch a movie. The best part is that it’s all free.
And if you’re need of some guidance in your life, well, that’s free too.
“A number of Soldiers come here, and they’re stressed and they’re away from their families, away from their support systems, and they come here to kind of talk and ventilate, and I’m able to listen,” said Stickler.
For many Soldiers, God’s Grounds is a source for help in troubled times. Soldiers can talk to people like Stickler, who draws from a lifetime of experience in helping people: she has two masters degrees, a Ph.D. and experience as both a drug and alcohol counselor and a marriage counselor.
“And thank God for that, because that experience and knowledge has helped me help some Soldiers get their lives back on track,” said Stickler. “And the ones that I wasn’t able to help, I generally refer some to the chaplains’ office or various other resources.”
“But for the most part, I have been able to talk to Soldiers who have been in crisis, and they came here, basically for something to drink, and just started pouring their heart out,” said Stickler, “and I listened, and gave them some guidance and helped them put their lives back together.”
It’s gratifying to help people, said Stickler, noting in particular a “special case and near and dear to my heart.”
“There was a very troubled individuals whose marriage was on the rocks, and this was a soldier and this soldier had two children, and the marriage was on the rocks,” said Stickler, taking pains to protect the Soldier’s identity. “And, in a nutshell, I was able to talk to this Soldier, as well as the spouse in the states, and we worked on their priorities.
“The spouse in the states, I suggested that that individual get counseling, and the individual did partake a counseling,” Stickler said. “And I was working with the Soldier here, and by the grace of god, things were patched up and things are back on track, and the divorce is now not in progress.”
Helping other Soldiers is Stickler’s way of breaking the cycle. Stickler has been dealing with family issues her whole life.
“I came from a pretty messed up background,” said Stickler. “My father was a World War II veteran, and he had posttraumatic stress, but as a kid I didn’t know what that was. He was a very violent man. And all I could think of in my high school days was leaving my family, because I was tired of being afraid of my dad, he was very violent.
“And when I turned 18 years old, I left home, joined the Marine Corps. And I met other people in life, and I realized that not everybody’s like my dad. And I started to grow.”
Stickler started building up her self-esteem as she went to college. After taking a psychology class, she was hooked. Between gigs as a schoolteacher, college professor, counselor, and government worker, she amassed years of experience and was getting ready to retire.
And then she got deployed.
“I had just finished a weeklong retirement seminar with my civilian job, and that Saturday following, I received a FedEx package in the mail with a set of military orders for [Iraq]. So I put my civilian retirement on hold and in six weeks I had to go to Fort Jackson, South Carolina.”
A religious person, Stickler said she found her purpose during a sunrise Easter service at the birthplace of Abraham. As the sun came up over the ruins, she an epiphany of purpose, and she knew why she had been placed in Iraq.
“I didn’t want to do this because it really disrupted my life. But you know, sometimes God places us in places we don’t want to go, and when we get there - after the experience, I realized why I was here.
“I think I’m blessed as a Soldier myself who came here kicking and screaming so to speak,” Stickler said. “Not only was I able to help a lot of people, but I myself have had a lot of spiritual growth and development while I was here. God has used me in a great way. And I’m glad for that.”
